San Francisco History
 

Chambliss' Diary


Chapter XXIX.

CONCERNING the personnel of San Francisco's polite organizations, the Entre Nous Cotillion is conducted on a basis which has for its chief object the mutual pleasure and improvement of its members. It is, practically speaking, an up-to-date cotillion club.

That this club values its private individuality and family sociability more than it does the flattering praises of journalistic and literary admirers, is shown by the names of its members, who are of the good old reliable home-loving class which favors the advancement of real respectability, the foundation of polite society.

The following is a list of the Entre Nous' members:

Miss Alice M. Butler,
Miss Grace E. Bertz,
Miss Sarah E. Boyle,
Miss Clara Byington,
Miss Kate L. Byington,
Miss Sarah Bluxome,
Miss E. E. Cudworth,
Miss Mabelle Gilman,
Miss Nelye J. Giusti,
Miss Sadie E. Gould,
Miss Charlotte Gruenhagen,
Miss Albertia Gruenhagen,
Miss Emilie Herzer,
Miss Beatrice E. Hughes,
Miss Mae Hoesch,
Miss Marie Ibarra,
Miss Josephine E. Jourden,
Miss Elena King,
Miss Ala Keenan,
Miss Kate Kerrigan,
Mrs. Geo. F. Kincaid,
Miss Cassie Lampe,
Miss Jessie B. Lyon,
Miss Minnie Ludlow,
Miss Lotta Musto,
Miss Nella McCormick,
Miss Mattie McCormick,
Miss Julia Nevella,
Mrs. Geo. S. Nevin,
Miss Edna o'Brien,
Miss Nancy Place,
Miss Lida Platt,
Mrs. Frank L. Platt,
Miss Maude Rice,
Miss Camilla Redmond,
Miss Marie Sabatie,
Miss Kate L. Stanton,
Mrs. M. M. Stewart,
Miss Amy Teresi,
Miss Goldie Tobelmann,
Miss Jessie Taggart,
Miss Emma Umbsen,
Miss Eva Worth,
Miss Aimee Woodworth,
Miss Dollie Whelan,
Miss Leah S. Young.

THE TRUTH ABOUT AMERICAN BEAUTY.
Representative types of home-loving native daughters of three distinct social centers.
 

THE GENTLEMEN MEMBERS ARE:
Alexander, Wallace,
Adams, George W.,
Anthes, Frank F.,
Austin, Lynn,
Bigelow, J. Edward,
Byington, Lewis F.,
Burns, Dr. John B.,
Bryant, Dr. E. R.,
Carrera, Edward G.,
Clement, Dr. Herbert,
Desmond, John H.,
Frazer, Dr. T. J.,
Fyfe, Ormiston B.,
Graham, George D.,
Gantner, J. Oscar,
Herzer, Herman H.,
Haight, Robert F.,
Hoag, O. H., Jr.,
Kase, Thomas K.,
Kerrigan, Frank H.,
Kelly, William,
Kincaid, George F.,
Lawton, Dr. Wm. P.,
Lovey, Louis W.,
Lyon, Walter S.,
Ludlow, James T.,
Lee, Eugene,
Mau, Arther H.,
Musto, Clarence,
Meussdorffer, Arthur H.,
Nunan, Robert G.,
Naylor, Arthur D.,
Nevin, George S.,
Nougues, Chas. J.,
Peters, Fred W.,
Phillips, L. Ernest,
Pixley, Will I.,
Platt, Dr. Frank L.,
Parks, Fred H.,
Robbins, James C.,
Roussy, Gaston,
Rigg, George A.,
Ross, T. Patterson,
Saxe, Harry A.,
Spalding, Chas. W.,
Umbsen, Henry P.,
Vogel, Edward J.,
Woolsey, Dr. Mark H.,
Wise, Dave W.,
Whitley, Henry A.

The directors are Mr. Sanford G. Lewald, Mr. Robert F. Haight, Mr. Charles W. Spalding, and Mr. O. B. Fyfe. To these young gentleman the club is largely indebted for its distinction of being the best organized cotillion in California.

The club which gives parties under the name of "The N.S.L.K. 10," is composed of active members of the Entre Nous.

The Assembly Club differs from the Entre Nous cotillion in that its membership is limited exclusively to the male sex. The gentlemen argue that this allows them the privilege of taking as many ladies to the dances as they can provide carriage accommodations and partners for; and it also facilitates the bringing out of débutantes, who were quite numerous at their last two functions which I had the pleasure of attending in the winter of '95.

The Assembly Club is composed of the following gentlemen:

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE.

Mr. D. B. Crane, Mr. E. D. Conolley, Mr. E. C. Denigan, Mr. C. C. Moore, Mr. H. W. Spalding.

MEMBERS.

Bostwick, H. R.,
Briggs, A. A.,
Brown, J. A.,
Castelazo, Arthur,
Christie, J. A.,
Conolley, E. D.,
Cook, F. R.,
Crane, D. B.,
Day, H. L.,
Denigan, E. C.,
Elliot, W. E.,
Greenlee, F. S.,
Hecker, J. G.,
Hoag, O. A., Jr.,
Hockett, E.,
Lang, A.,
Martin, F. M.,
Melrose, C. K.,
Moore, C. C.,
Newman, G. H.,
Parsons, J. A.,
Rigg, G. A.,
Robinson, N. A.,
Rue, H. R.,
Runyon, F. W.,
Schlingheyde, C. E.,
Spalding, H. W.,
Sprague, P. T.,
Stevens, J. W.,
Sturdivant, B. B.,
Thornton, A. C.,
Toepke, W. H.,
Watters, T. C.,
Willis, Edward.

MR. CHARLES EDWARD BLAIR,
Of Pennsylvania.
A type of the American Gentleman in private life.
 

The Club "400" was evidently christened under that name in a spirit of sarcastic humor, for there is nothing about the membership to indicate any symptoms of the pitiable, bombastic ludicrousness which is so abundant in another so-called "four hundred" in which social standing is based on the pay-as-you-enter system.

The directors of the common sense Club "400" are: O. A. Harker, V. E. Matthews, J. Proctor Whitney, C. L. Mitchell, Lancelot H. Smith, E. P. Hulme, and C. E. L. Hildebrecht.

The Cotillion Club, which gave the Charity Ball at the Palace Hotel in January, 1895, was organized by Dr. J. F. Twist, assisted by Mr. B. Frank Priest and Dr. H. B. Soltan. These gentlemen deserve great credit for the manner in which they work to get up cotillions merely to facilitate the innocent pleasure that young ladies and gentlemen find in well conducted dancing parties.

Who says that such parties are not beneficial to polite society echoes sentiments which savor strongly of ignorance, jealousy, vindictiveness, or fanaticism, or all.

Preachers who denounce dancing and the little innocent amusement that it affords are just as much in error as infidels who denounce Christianity.

Those who took active parts in the arrangements of the cotillions of this club last winter were: Dr. J. F. Twist, Mr. Eugene A. Mantell, Mr. B. Frank Priest, Dr. H. B. Soltan, Mr. W. E. Jackson, Mr. J. A. Christie, Mr. Will E. Fisher, Mr. J. T. Ludlow, Dr. R. L. Sutherland, Mr. J. C. Bateman, Mr. M. C. Bateman, Dr. G. S. Backman, Mr. C. T. Ryland, Jr., Lieutenant Frank A. Brooks, Lieutenant T. S. Phelps, Jr., Mr. E. N. Atwood, Mr. Charles W. Spalding, Mr. J. S. Hawkins, Mr. Charles Hilton, Mr. W. T. Baggett, Dr. T. A. Rotanzi, Mr. Frank E. Wobb, Mr. H. B. Holmgren, Dr. W. P. Agnews, Hon. H. E. Highton, Mr. J. Shucking.

That the above mentioned gentlemen and all the rest of the club are far above anything like petty, social jealousy is shown by the fact that they extend invitations to the leading members of all the respectable cotillion clubs in the city to participate in their functions.

That this newly aroused sentiment of sociability is appreciated is shown by the fact that there were more dances last winter participated in by representatives of all the different clubs--which are clubs at all--than ever before known in the city.

This is the true spirit. All the nice clubs should always be on friendly terms. When honored citizens such as the president, or the great admirals or generals, visit you, give them receptions that they should remember as a credit to the social system of the city or community.

One feature of the dancing party which is growing more and more conspicuous by its absence is the irrepressible fake society reporter.

The managers of cotillion parties have found it not only advisable, but necessary to the comfort and pleasure of dancers, to suppress those news scavengers, as Tom Flynn of the Wasp calls them. They are not journalists at all, and it is the hope of all real journalists that the present generation will live to see the extermination of all such poor, puny, pitiable, persistent parasites as W. B. Cooke, J. o'Hara Nosegrave, Hugh Hume, Little Birdie Irving, Charlie Nosegrave, E. M. Greenway, and all of that worse than useless tribe of professional toadies. Not one of those toadies is above receiving "tips" for special mentions.

There are some organizations which are rarely mentioned in the "society columns" contributed to by the fakirs or scavenger reporters. Among those may be mentioned the Western Addition Literary Club; the Native Sons of Vermont, and the various parlors of the Native Sons and Daughters of the Golden West. Nearly all of those organizations give monthly dances or entertainments of some kind; often for charitable purposes, but never to assist in the facilitation of society column snobbery. They leave that to the non-producing element--the Parvenucracy.

An Honest Lawyer.
 

Then there are several little dancing clubs conducted on the fifty cent admission or "hat check" basis, and devoted to the interests of good citizens who do not feel able to subscribe to the five or ten dollar cotillions. Nevertheless, those dances seem to be enjoyed by their participants, even if they are less pretentious than the frequenters of Santa Cruz, San José, Del Monte, San Mateo, Castle Crags, and Coronado.

Because a person happens to be poor, that is no reason why he should be denied the privilege of dancing, provided he does not step all over people and bump into everybody, and walk on ladies' dresses. There is no excuse for such conduct in a man who has social aspirations. Such social impediments may be overcome at Mr. W. W. Anderson's dancing academy, and also at Mr. Lunt's. Any man who wants to do right should be encouraged rather than abused.

And then again I see no reason why a man should be looked down upon by soulless society leaders simply because he did not marry a lady member of one of the cotillion clubs.

Everyone is not fortunate enough to get a belle of the Entre Nous, by any means, because there are not enough to go around.

What of it if a big millionaire member of the Parvenucracy did see fit to retain the unpretentious girl that he married before he got rich? It is nobody's business but his own; and why is it that they always ridicule a fellow like that for marrying the only girl who would have him? I mean Mr. Con. o'Connor. I heard so many unkind remarks about this gentleman that I actually felt sorry for him, and went and looked up some references to defend him with.

MR. EUGENE A. MANTELL,
The popular and talented young designer.
One of the best-dressed real gentlemen in America.
 

I found that his enemies had a very strong case against him, and that they based their opinions on facts. Although facts are hard to overcome, I propose to show by those very facts, which his enemies have been prodding him in the neck with, that he (Mr. o'Connor) is civilized, or at least that he was civilized when he got married. Here is what Owen Meredith has to say on a similar subject:

"We may live without poetry, music, and art;
We may live without conscience, and live without heart;
We may live without friends, and live without books;
But civilized man cannot live without cooks."

I would advise all of those heartless creatures who criticise Mr. o'Connor's "domestic" affairs to paste a copy of the above in their hats, and leave the gentleman alone. What would you have him do, anyway? Would you have him eat his food raw?

You lucky rascals who marry stylish belles of the Assembly, the Entre Nous, the "400," or the Cotillion Club, should give Mr. o'Connor a chance to breathe, if nothing more. In my social observations I have come to regard unjust criticisms of the kind bestowed upon Mr. o'Connor in the light of poisoning your house rats: You kill the rats, 'tis true, but you raise a deuced foul odor.

Concerning the very latest and most approved methods for organizing cotillion clubs, the most successful organizers are the least pretentious. They say that it is no trouble at all to get up a subscription party or ball, provided you go about it properly.

Every young lady who goes into society at all must have some friends.

Almost any ten young ladies, assisted by ten young gentlemen to do the heavy work, can organize a club in any law-respecting community where they have any standing. All that they have to do is simply to form their committees and circulate the report that a dancing club is being organized, and the members will come in fast enough if they are invited. But you must not freeze them out by making the subscription too high.

High priced affairs are all right for the Parvenucracy: gamblers, saloon keepers, and railroad octopuses make their money easily, and can afford to pay their leader large commissions, but decent people cannot.

For further information on this subject consult any respectable cotillion leader who has sense enough to know that you can't get all the nice dancing people in a big city into one dance hall.

Good San Francisco authorities to consult are Mr. Eugene A. Mantell, Mr. Robert F. Haight, Mr. Sanford G. Lewald, Mr. Charles W. Spalding, Mr. James B. Stokes, Mr. Edward G. Carrera, Mr. James A. Christie, Mr. Harvy B. Holmgren, Mr. B. Frank Priest, and Mr. Hall McAllister, a nephew of the late Ward McAllister.

Apropos of Mr. Ward McAllister, I believe that he had the misfortune to have been misunderstood by the public at large. In organizing his "Four Hundred" he evidently limited its membership to correspond with the dancing capacity of his favorite ballroom.

That he desired to set a good example for other ambitious leaders to follow was natural to a jolly good-natured man like Ward. That the public declined to fall into his way of thinking was also quite natural, as well as proper.

The better elements of American society have never, since the year of 1776, approved of the extension of foreign aristocracy to these shores, and that which is still more encouraging to the descendants of the F.F.V.'s is that they never will. But poor old Ward McAllister lived and danced his life away, clinging to the absurd idea that it was all right for such adventurers as Andre Poniatowski, or Pony-of-whisky, to come over here and marry Parvenuesses for their dollars.

THE HOODLUM SWELL AND SOCIAL DICTATOR.
"He wears a black necktie, sticks a black handkerchief in his 'vest,' blows a tin whistle, and his word is South-of-Market law as far down the road as Butchertown."-- Tar Flat Free Dump (J. Power, Editor).
 

Mr. McAllister evidently believed that the infusion of foreign titled blood into the steam beer blood of California Parvenucracy would improve the latter. Having lived out among those old saloon-keepers, Mr. McAllister was willing that almost any experiment that would tend to civilize their descendants should be tried. But careful intelligent observations of the disastrous failures of these experiments, as shown by the Mackay-Collonna transaction, the Prentiss-Huntington-Hatsfeldt international disgrace, and the latest nauseating transactions between Miss Gould and Count de Castellaine, all go to strengthen the belief that when noble blood becomes so diluted as to sell itself for money taken in over the counters of grogshops and stock-boards, it has ceased to be noble at all.

All Americans desiring information on how to conduct a dancing club composed of the representative members of the saloon keeper, gambling house keeper, and sporty elements of society should call upon Mr. E. M. Greenway, who is also prepared to give advice on how to malign all social clubs in the city whose members refuse to acknowledge him as anything more than a fake society reporter.

When the defunct Nos Ostros Cotillion Club was in existence, Mr. Greenway used to refer to it as the Nos Ass-tros Club, just because Messrs. Frank E. Webb, Charlie Nosegrave, A. L. Dodge, and Harry Wilber belonged to it. There is no reason why a man should hesitate about expressing his opinions of individuals, provided he is prepared to substantiate those opinions with facts as Mr. Greenway was, but it was very unkind of Ned to give a club such a name as that just in order to describe a few of its would-be leaders--like himself.

A few simple rules on arranging parties will, if observed, insure success and a good time:

Form your committees and get out your invitations on plain white paper. Do not have any vulgar embossing on the invitation, but have it engraved in neat script.

Do not put anything about dress on the invitation unless it is a military affair, because every man fit to be invited to a dance ought to have sense enough to know that gentlemen always wear evening dress to dances.*

[*Note: In all parts of the civilized world except California, the term "Evening Dress" means "swallow-tailed" or "claw-hammer" coats for gentlemen. Some San Francisco society leaders insist on saying "Full Dress," which is absurd. That term applies only to the military, and to societies that wear military uniforms.]

Those who don't know that much are liable to be ignorant of other important rules of good form.

Ladies are always up to date in the matter of dress, and need no male advice on that subject further than a quiet gentle hint that it does not sound nicely to masculine ears to hear ladies criticising one another's gowns at cotillions or anywhere else.

One peculiar thing is that the most charming and the prettiest dressed ladies generally are made the victims and targets of the most cruel and uncalled-for insinuations of other ladies, who, by reason of the fact that they are permitted to sit and look on while the more fortunate ones dance, are enabled to adjust their green lorgnettes and look for imaginary defects, and, failing to find any, add more venom to their disappointed criticisms.

This is a failing that is particularly noticeable in females who are no longer attractive.

One well known example will serve as a description suitable for this class. An extremely uncouth old woman who keeps a "fashionable family boarding house" on Pine Street, almost under the shadow of the Hopkins Mansion, which is on the next street a little further up on Snob Hill, has a penchant for posing as a professional chaperon, in order to gain admission to functions where she is not wanted.

THE HOODLUM SWELL AT A WASHINGTON STREET RECEPTION;
or, The Ass in the Lion's Skin.
"There ain't no salt ner pepper on this table, see?" said the South-of-Market swell of tin whistle "fame."
 

At a large naval reception that I attended at Mare Island, this ludicrous old creature "chaperoned" no less than four young ladies, who were guests at her boarding house.

Gentlemen were less abundant than ladies at this function, and the floor committee had its hands full trying to see that all the young ladies got some dances.

I saw a young naval lieutenant take one of his brother officers up to introduce him to this quartette, on whose invitation the professional "chaperon" had crept in, when, much to the young officer's astonishment, the fat old chaperon got up and took his arm, pretending to think that the introduction was intended for her.

The gentleman had a pretty hard time getting rid of his undesirable partner, who held on to him in order to tell him that a certain lady, who subsequently turned out to be his fiancée, was dressed like a servant girl. The young man then took Mme. Family Boarding House de Veller Blister back to her seat. The four young ladies never got a dance during the evening for the reason that no one else would venture up for an introduction for fear of being victimized by the chaperon.

Mothers should be careful about how they trust their daughters out with professional chaperons, and especially those who are addicted to the habit of drinking and gambling, as the one in question was, and still is.

Here are some good forms for invitations, which should never be sent to ineligible persons or professional society parasites, but should be addressed in such a way that only the invited guests may obtain admission on them:

The Admiral, the Captain and Officers of

the U.S.S. Mohican request the pleasure of your company Aboard Ship,

Tuesday evening, January twenty-fourth,

at eight o'clock.

Another good form is:

The N.S.L.K. 10.

At Home,

Friday Evening, April 19, 1895,

at half past eight o'clock.

Beethoven Hall,

N.E. Cor. Post and Powell Streets.

Hotel Savoy Building.

Here is another:

The Cotillion Club requests the honor of

Governor and Mrs. James H. Budd's company

at the Charity Ball,

in aid of the Children's Hospital Fund,

at the Palace Hotel, Monday Evening, January 7, 1895.

Please answer and present this invitation for admission cards to

the committee,

or at the office of the Palace Hotel.

If it is intended that invited guests may keep their invitations as souvenirs of the function, small cards, with the name of your club engraved thereon, should be enclosed with the engraved invitations.

THE FEMALE "FRUIT-PICKER" AT THE ADMIRAL's RECEPTION.
"Much to the young officer's astonishment, the fat old chaperon got up and took his arm, pretending to think that the introduction was intended for her."-- Mare Island Society News.
 

Here is a neat form for an admission card:

THE ASSEMBLY

Golden Gate Hall, 625 Sutter Street,

Tuesday Evening, December 20, 1894, 8:45.

Admit Mr. L. Ernst Phillips and Lady.

(Signed) J. A. Christie, Member.

Not transferable.

Here is another form for admission cards:

THE MONDAY EVENING CLUB.

Palace Hotel, Feb. 6, 1893, 8:30 to 12.

Admit Lieutenant and Mrs. D. L. Wilson, U.S.N.

Issued at the request of L. E. Phillips.

Please present at Reception Room door.

Students generally request your presence about as follows:

THE YOUNG MEN

OF

CHAMBERLAIN-HUNT ACADEMY

Request your presence at a Dance to be given at Odd Fellows' Hall, Port Gibson, Miss.,

Tuesday Evening, June 19th, 1894.

Enclosed with the above invitation was a little card which read, "Please present at the door." Then there were enclosed two other little cards on which were written:

Compliments of Misses Jennie and Mary Kate Sevier.

Ten dances are quite enough to have between 8:30 and 12 o'clock.

Those should be arranged on a very plain white card with the name of your club or organization and date, and where the affair is to be danced, on one side, and the list of dances on the other. Such as the following:

THE N.S.L.K. 10 LUNT's HALL,Tuesday Evening February 5, 1895.
ENGAGEMENTS.

1. Waltz   Miss Gould,

2. Lancers   Miss Wooll,

3. Schottische   Miss Loomis,

4. Polka (5-step)   Miss Teresi,

5. Waltz   Miss Fritchie,

6. Deux Temps   Miss Taylor,

7. Schottische   Miss McElroy,

8. Polka   Miss McEwen,

9. Waltz   Miss Gruenhagen,

10. Spanish Waltz   Miss Collison.

If the dance or entertainment is to be given in honor of someone, the name of the guest of honor should invariable be engraved on the invitations and the programmes as well.

Here is a form:

THE YOUNG MEN OF HARRISTON,

request the honor of the company of

Doctor and Mrs. J. W. Davenport,

at a farewell dance to be given

in honor of Mrs. Robert L. Montgomery,

on Monday, May 7th, 1894, at 8:30 P.M.

Ladies reception room,

the Pioneer Hotel.


Nat T. Coulson, "Dentist," distributing his business cards among the ladies at a Palace Hotel dance, January, 1893. (Coulson belongs to the Union League Club, San Francisco.)
 

For a large naval reception that I attended, the invitation read:

THE OFFICERS OF MARE ISLAND NAVY YARD,

and of the Ships in Port,

request the pleasure of your company

at a Farewell Reception

to be given

Rear Admiral JOHN IRWIN, U.S.N.,

At the Sail Loft, April 19, 1893,

Dancing.   8:30 P.M.

At very large functions of this kind, which only happen once in a great while, dancing is generally kept up until daybreak. But it is not customary at ordinary functions to dance after supper, which is generally announced at midnight.

Before leaving the patient reader who has followed me through my long voyages in the great social sea and back to the quiet life of a literary man in New York City,--the national center of wealth, fashion, and poverty,--a few hints to ambitious society leaders may not be out of place. So I will now add a few suggestions which will be found useful to have about the house in any climate.

Since those hints have been deduced from information obtained from the leading society men of America, it might be well for the reader to remember some if not all of them:

A fondness for nice social gatherings is an excellent sign in young persons who are well-bred. It shows matrimonial inclinations.

You cannot conduct a social organization on a money making basis with any degree of real pleasure to its members. Business and pleasure will not combine in a dancing party. "Dentist" N. T. Coulson proved that at a Palace Hotel dance in 1893.

Persons who object to marriage, and try to prevent other persons of naturally good inclinations from marrying, should be classed as murderers. They would murder the goddess of natural love.

Elderly men who pose as "adopted fathers" are sometimes more unreasonable than crazy parents.

Persons who appropriate cloaks, hats, shoes, handkerchiefs, and other wearing apparel, and run off with the horses and buggies of other guests at social gatherings, should be considered as robbers, burglars, thieves, and pickpockets.

Persons who get more invitations than they should have, and sell the surplus ones to their friends, and then forget to pay their subscriptions, should be classed as bums and tramps.

Persons who go to dances under the influence of liquor, and who keep running out between the dances and coming back among the ladies with a disgusting odor of beer, whisky, cloves, and cinnamon bark about their foul mouths, are now regarded as common drunks, toughs, and hoodlums, and are being treated accordingly in making up invitations lists.

Persons who are known to be runners for wine houses, and who claim that it is good form to have wine at cotillions and bad form to buy it from anybody except themselves, are now being looked upon the same as saloon-keepers, and are being relegated to tenderloindom, where they belong.

Persons who have not the force of character to quit drinking when they are full enough, should always take more solids than liquids.

Dentists and doctors who distribute their business cards at cotillions, and send up cards with their business addresses on them when they call upon ladies, are now regarded as quacks.

MR. MANTELL's ADVICE TO POLITE SOCIETY.
"Bear in mind, gentlemen, that you should always take more solids than liquids," said Eugene, to O. A. Bernard, M. M. Estee, and S. M. Shortridge.

Lawyers who do similar things are looked upon as shysters.

Persons who are always finding fault with cotillion managers who do their best to please all, should be classed as social anarchists.

Persons who insist on making speeches at the table when nobody wants to listen to them, and then get upon the music stand and announce some fake party that nobody would care to attend, should be regarded as society fakirs.

Mr. Silas C. Wright. No relation to the "Fruit-picker."
 

Treasurers of charity balls and entertainments who fail to account for the receipts, and then take the admission tickets which the guests deposited at the door and mark "Complimentary" on those which were paid for, and admit waiters, pawn-brokers, and others at reduced rates, and then try to lay the blame on innocent people, should be classed as society ballot-box stuffers, and should be kicked out bodily.

Married people who object to children on the absurd idea that the world is already over-populated should learn that there always was and always will be plenty of room on this planet for properly bred children of both sexes.

Persons who ignore their marriage vows are worthy of the confidence of no one who considers an oath binding.

Young men who liquidate their board bills at fashionable boarding houses with the proceeds of private poker games, to which they invite chance acquaintances whom they meet at social gatherings, are being classed as "fruit-pickers."

Women who pose as chaperons in order to get into society to entice young men into their "family boarding houses" to be victimized are called "female fruit-pickers."

Self-elected leaders and dictators of so-called social clubs who claim that a little money and a few fake notices in the third-rate papers give high social standing to all the saloon keepers, gamblers, sports, and prize-fighters who attend their money-making "functions," should be relegated without unnecessary delay to the ranks of "colored society."

THE END.
 


THE OUTLOOK IN PARVENUCRACY FOR 1900.
Af-ter the ball is o-ver;
Af-ter the truth we see;
Greeny and Birdie in clo-ver,
Some-thing like this, will b-e-e.


Source: Chambliss, William H. Chambliss' Diary; Or, Society As It Really Is. 1895: New York.  Library of Congress, "California as I Saw It:" First-Person Narratives of California's Early Years, 1849-1900.

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